I have found myself so often comparing my two children. Charlie does this ... did Max do that at his age? Well Max had so many ear infections, will Charlie be on the same track since he has already begun getting them? Max likes snap peas, will Charlie? Charlie loves hot dogs, Max hates them? Charlie, Max took great naps. Can you please catch on? Constipated Charlie, mushy poop Max.
Yep, again, I'm being that mum. The one that expects the second to be as the first instead of letting each be their own person.
Did you have a sibling in school that was older than you? Did your teachers on the first day of school say, "Oh, you're so and so's sister." Yep, I got that. Soon enough, they found out I was not her. She was less trouble. (I love you Esme.) Will my sons' teachers do that to them? Am I setting them up for that now?
So, then I began thinking about the future. If I am already comparing them when it comes to how much they eat, how quickly they began/begin walking, what words did they say first; will I always compare them? Will I fall into the trap of expecting one of them to be like the other in "good situations" say behavior or school? Heaven forbid I ever exclaim in exasperation or more desperation, "Why can't you be like your brother?" I am being an absolute hypocrite as I hated it when compared to my sister, yet am I not doing that right now with my two sons?
When I grew up, I remember telling myself I would never do things that my mum and dad did. I'll not ever use the reason, "Because I said so." Bedtime would certainly be after 8pm. TV would not be held hostage because of something like reading. I know my parents worried more about me getting into trouble at school or at college than my sister. I wonder, did they compare us?
I'm just sayin'.
July 2nd, 2012
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