conversations

me(at the Hershey Gardens last Sunday for Mother's Day): Are you guys getting tired?  Are you hot? - Max was an impressive shade of crimson.
Max: Mommy, the sun is making me tired.
me:  What a very astute statement, Max.  Want to go to Harvard.
Charlie: (with extreme enthusiasm) YEAH!
me: Win the lottery.
...... this is where a mother and daughter within earshot started chuckling.


me: Charlie, want to go to the store with Mommy.
Charlie: Mommy, bagel.
me: Yes, you can have a bagel.
Charlie: I want 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 bagels.
me: Sure.
Charlie: (emphatically) I want bagel all day.
me: all day?
Charlie: (screaming) All. Day.
me: (turning to the husband) so, we're going to go to the store.
Michael: Don't forget the bagels.


Max: (from upstairs) Mommy.  Mommy.  Ma-me...
me: (slowly going up the stairs)  Yes, Max.
Max: Can I tell you something?
me: sure.
Max:  I want your hair in a ponytail.
me:  [WTF].
Max: no, mommy, a nice one.
me: (leaving)


Charlie: ok, mister mommy
(enough said)


a few mother's day thoughts from Max:

Her favorite place to shop is the grocery store.
Mom always says "I love you."
If Mom had time, she would do more laundry.
When she grows up, she wants to be a "Princess Elsa"
Her favorite food is sausage and ice cream(chocolate)

from Charlie:
Mommy, I don't like the car wash.  It's scary.

in the bathtub:
Charlie: ma, ma, maummy, I wash my penis.
Max: I wash my buttcrack.


This is when I say the all-knowing line ... "I cannot make this shit up."
May 19th, 2014