My Little Picasso's

My Little Picasso's

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Toddler Antics - Part ?

I don't remember the last time I wrote one of these.  It's not as though my child is not "funny" or "interesting" anymore; I have just been much much much more consumed with his sleep.  Meaning, him going to sleep without putting himself or the door through the bedroom wall.  We can talk about that later ...

Charlie has got in on the act ...

Charlie took a pair of socks out of the laundry basket and put them on.  No joke.

Max took up my husband's car key one day, gave everyone a kiss goodbye including the TV and the fake flowers, waved goodbye, and headed to the front door one morning.  I guess Michael doesn't have to go to work anymore.  Max will bring home the bacon now.

"Max, do you need a spank?"
Max, "[nods]."

Everyone has a penis according to Max.  Mummy, daddy, Charlie, doggie, Mimi, Papa, Uncle Robby, Uncle Seth, Aunt Laura, Aunt Esme, etc.  Charlie discovered Max's penis in the bathtub the other night.  Why do I have a feeling my life is going to be all about penis from now on.  The other day at the grocery store Max went very quiet and very still in the car in front of the cart.  After a few minutes I went round the cart to check on him.  His hand was fully down the front of his diaper.  How embarrassing.

Charlie throws tantrums.  Wonder who he learned that from?!  And he bites.  Grrreeaaaaaaaaat.  (Do you sense my sarcasm here?)

Yesterday we were at a picnic celebrating the passing of a dear friend in State College, PA.  This is how she wanted it.  She was so lovely and loved my two boys.  The family had put golf balls all around for kids to play with and symbolize our friend since she so loved the game.  Max picked up two and put them in his pockets.  Yep, my kid.

Max doesn't poop.  Everyone else poops, but he always tells me it was not him.  Wanna bet kid!  Smell your drawers.

Max likes to call people "dude."  I blame Michael.

Charlie might be flat-footed.  That's all on this side of the table, here.

Charlie has fallen in love with chords and plugs just like his big brother.  Wonderful.  We have one light source in his nursery which is a tall floor lamp that "coincides" with the light switch.  I have discovered he can reach through his crib(We call him Stretch Adams) now and unplug said plug therefore there is no light in his room.  Double wonderful.

Max still loves chords and plugs but he can reach many more of them now.  I found Michael's razor charge plugged in the garage the other day and today my printer cable was in his room.  All my plug covers have MYSTERIOUSLY disappeared and ended up in garbage cans?!?!?!???!?!  I thought little kids weren't supposed to get them out.

Max can reach light switches.  For all I know my outside house light was on for 3 days.

Charlie eats dog food when he can get to it.  So does Max.  Gross.  I have to guard the dog while she inhales her food.

And there you have it ... for now.
June 24th, 2012

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

20 things you know you wanted to know about this blogger.

1.  I am not an American citizen.  I am a LEGAL resident alien with a green card but red passport which makes me a citizen of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.  By the way, it is not green ... it's blue.  I have my naturalization forms all filled out and ready to go ... just don't have the money to pay for it.
Ever since "The Wedding" and now "The Jubilee" I feel myself missing my homeland more and more. One of these Sundays I will cook a proper Sunday Lunch and have all my in-laws over to show them how it's done!

2.  I stand over a bag of potato chips or Doritos looking for the folded over chips.  They are more crunchy.  I just like them better.  Michael gives me all the folded over chips.

3.  Right now Max is swinging his plastic golf clubs in my basement.  He's a lefty.  Now he is going to try and sit in the Bebe Pod ... he fits.  Now he shoved a mini paint roller into the VCR slot of my old TV.  I know what you're thinking ... you still have a TV with a VCR slot?!

4.  I have a slight, ok severe, addiction to candy.  Especially fruity gummy candy.  The bulk aisle in Wegman's is my playground.  And I don't share very easily.  I chalk this up to the fact that my mum was always very health conscious and it was a big day if we had Oreo's in the house growing up.

5.  I can drink coffee at any point during a day and still be able to fall asleep at night.  I blame the children.  I also blame college and that I managed a coffeehouse while attending college.

6.  I really really really hate flying, but I'll do it to get to amazing places ... such as Japan one day.  As I have got older I have got better.  When I was a child I used to be throwing up while walking to my seat.  No joke.  I also had a drink cart spilled on me once.

7.  Huge Harry Potter fan.  Huge.  Much more than Hunger Games or Twilight.  I have an even huger crush on Hermione Granger.  She is just brilliant.

8.  When I finish a book I must start another one immediately.  I can never think about not being in the middle of someone else's adventure or life.  Their problems are my escape.

9.  It is hard for me to shut up.  I talk a lot and have always talked a lot.  This is why my sister would call me obnoxious growing up, because sometimes I was just plain silly.  I admit it.  Sorry.

10.  I hate, no loathe, unloading the dishwasher, but am very thankful to have a dishwasher.

11.  Say it loud and proud ... I am a Kardashian-a-holic.  Khloe's my favorite.

12.  I have two gorgeous twin nieces and plan on not being an aunt just to them ... DO YOU HEAR ME ESMERALDA WARD, SETH and LAURA WALIZER, and ROBBY WALIZER?

13.  I am much more a Democrat than I am a Republican even though the majority of my family is Republican.  However, Ron Paul has some good thoughts.

14.  I am a Christian.  When I ask Max where we're going on any given day his first response is often church.  I love that.

15.  I have this problem ... I am afraid of upsetting people.  I know this sounds obvious, but it really bothers me.  I take things very personally sometimes.

16.  Ok, so maybe I liked NewKids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, and 'N Sync.  I only went to one of their concerts - guess who?

17.  If I could meet anyone in the world, alive, it would have to be Jamie Oliver.  He just seems like a lot of fun.  And his kids are so sweet.  I'd also like to guest host "Morning Joe."  As long as I did not look like an idiot.

18.  If I could meet anyone in the world who has passed on, I'd love to meet my husband's pappy who I never got to meet.  I think it would explain a lot about my husband.  And, obviously, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

19.  My sister and my mum are my best friends.   My husband is my love.

20.  I love the beach.  Definitely my favorite vacation spot.

Avalon, NJ

Monday, June 18, 2012

Vacationing with toddlers ... where's the tylenol?

I warned my husband.  There will be no bar hopping.  There will be no easy solution to keeping track of two little boys on the beach.  No they cannot go in to the pool themselves, but they will want to, so suck it up and get wet.  We will be in the hotel room after 8pm.  We will likely be up before 6am.  Your own bed ... you're dreaming.

Basically all of this was true during our two nights in Cape May, NJ.

1.  Sleeping arrangements - We had a suite with a living/kitchen area that could be shut off.  Then a bedroom.  Who is more likely to get up and be up ... Max ofcourse, so his little bed got put up near our bed and Charlie slept in the pack n' play out front.  Notice I said Max's bed was set up.  Did he sleep in it?  NO.  Charlie slept in his pack n' play quite well barring a few crying fits the second night where mummy ended up on the couch next to him.  Max did not want to go to bed.  Shocker.  Max wanted to be in the big bed.  Max is a bed hog.  Grrrrrrr.

2.  Beach - Very cold water, but Max was determined to get as much of himself as wet as possible.  Brrrrrrrrrr.  Suntan lotion all over them.  Mummy and Daddy were not so particular about themselves.  Red as lobsters.

3.  Pool - Food could be delivered to guests at the pool.  Major score.  A beer or two might have crossed these lips.  Highlight of the day - Max and Charlie falling asleep on their parents in pool chairs so they then fell asleep in the pool chairs ... without much lotion.  Please refer back to point 2.

4.  Beach restaurant food - you want how much for three pancakes?  Figures.

5.  Stay as close as you can to the beach.  Beautiful views.  Not too far of a distance to haul all your crap to said beach.

6.  Wishing your child would stop screaming at the table.  Enough said.

7.  Still had a great time.  We just won't go to Disney until they are BOTH over this whole 2/3 year old stage thing.
"Come on Dad - let's get wet!"
Max in the big hole Daddy and Charlie dug while we were looking for sea glass.
Giggles even though it was a bit gray.

Friday, June 8, 2012

An almost ER visit.

Almost ... meaning it did not happen but I convinced myself it was going to.

As my boys were playing today (since they weren't napping ... ahem) somehow my Charlie cut his finger.  I did not know it was his finger until I wiped off all the blood from his legs and arms (S^%T).  I had no idea where it was coming from, but I can say in my somewhat first-aid trained way it was gushing.  I could not get the blood to stop.  I know, cold wash cloth, apply pressure, blah blah blah.  Not working people.  He is screaming meanwhile probably because I keep pulling and pushing at him to first figure out where he was hurt and second of all to get the blood to stop gushing.

Doctor ... busy signal.  Figures.

(wipe away blood from his fingers and hands ... apply more pressure ... screaming persists)

Doctor ... busy signal.  (Double S&$T)

Doctor ... hello ...

Within 2 minutes I am hanging up and getting him into his car seat.  Drenched washcloth.  Poopy diaper.  Doddling Max.  Curious dog.  Where are my f$^%&*(flip flops).  OMG, I'll have to go to the ER if the blood doesn't stop.  Do I have his insurance card?  Should I call Michael now or later?

Scream scream.

On our way ... giggle from the back seat.


Get to the doctor's office.  Ok, you little punk.  You're fine.

Call doctor's office back ... blah blah blah.

On our way home again.

Yep, I was that mum.

June 8th, 2012

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Quiet Time and the Big Red Ball Reward

"Ok, Max, it is quiet time.  What do you do during quiet time?"


"Yes, Max, you are quiet.  Good boy.  What do you do during quiet time?"


"Yes, Max.  If you are a good boy and stay in bed and be quiet and take a nap then we will go to Target.  What do you do during quiet time?"

"Charlie Target."

"Yes, Charlie will go to Target too."

"Mummy, drive."

"Yes, Mummy will drive but you have to be a good boy and stay in bed and be quiet and take a nap and then we will go to Target.  If you don't take a nap we will not go to Target."

"Red balls."

"Yes, the big red balls are at Target, but only if you are a good boy and take a nap will we go to Target.  You can ride in the big red cart."

"Charlie red cart.  Charlie red balls."

"Yes, Charlie will ride in the cart with you."

"Mummy red cart."

"Yes, Mummy will push the red cart."

"Mummy red balls."



He is asleep.  Guess we're going to Target.  What do I need at Target?

June 7th, 2012

Friday, June 1, 2012

Stay calm and carry on.

There is a saying where I come from ...

"Stay calm and carry on."

Any guesses of my homeland?  Hint: Diamond Jubilee this weekend.  Now you are probably thinking, "Ah yes, that does sound very stuffy just as ol' queeny might be."  Judge you may but I believe she would be a very lovely old lady and granny.

Focus, Natasha.

This saying has been going in and out of my head lately and today it boiled over.  Max has literally almost ripped his door off the hinges at bedtime or naptime.  It is absolutely ridiculous that a 2 1/2 year old can be so loud and angry and defiant when it comes to staying quiet in bed for a rest or sleep.  Really.  Really.  I know some mothers would probably give me that look right now of,"Is that all that is happening?"  Well, today, I had it and I slapped him.

Before you call social services on me, I simply slapped him that he would feel it on his upper thigh.  He cried.  He knew he was not being a good boy.  I tried to keep it cool, put him back in bed, give him his animals and trains and leave.  He played quietly until a while later when we went through this scenario again as he threatened to wake up Charlie with his noise and he finally fell asleep.

Needless to say after leaving the room, I cried and grabbed the phone to call my mummy.  I felt HORRIBLE.  I hated being spanked, why was I spanking my own children?  She assured me he was fine and I had to do something and I really did not hurt him and he needs to listen to me before he breaks himself or the house.  My mum says my sister and I never showed such behaviors as these tantrums(told you we were perfect), so she couldn't give me much advice on how to handle it otherwise.

I am at a loss ... any thoughts would be great, but I am just going to keep the course, stay calm, and carry on.

June 1st, 2012