My Little Picasso's

My Little Picasso's

Friday, April 27, 2012


Mummy Natasha has checked out for the night.  I'm done.  Please don't try to contact me.  My mind is at the bottom of my wine glass right now.

April 27th, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

10, 9, 8, 7 3/4, 7 1/2, 7 1/3, 7 1/4, 7, 6 7/8 ...

I was/am a middle school teacher.  I once had a student tell me as I reached a magnificent frustration level with my class that I should count backwards from 10 to calm myself down.  That is what her therapist told her to do for her anger management and ODD.

I find myself counting from 10 a lot these days with Max.

I know, I know ... he's 2 1/2.  Terrible twos, right.  My mother says it is payback.  (Mum, I have told you sorry too many times to count.)

Some of the things he does or gets into are just outright funny.  Exhibit A:

Some things are not funny but extremely frustrating.

Max will not go down for a nap and in the process of staying awake will often wake his brother up.  We have our routines with the boys; Charlie 1st, Max 2nd.  Max must set everything up in Charlie's room(nightlight, music, humidifier, change diaper, etc.) and if something is done wrong or in the wrong order(according to him) or in the wrong place he stamps and whines and squeals and kicks and rolls on the floor and has to start all over again and sheesh.  Then it is his turn.  I gate him in his room.  Did I tell you that?  Well, I do.  He has to put the gate on - wall scratches and dry wall chips - and then we have to tie it shut so he doesn't pull it open.  Change his pants ... always a struggle.  Books - choose a book, no two books.  This ends up being 6 or 7 by the time he lets me leave without throwing himself over the gate or through the floor.  He hardly ever listens to the stories.  He is building tents with his blanket, crawling between his bed and the wall, trying to read a book I already finished, catapulting off the end. When we leave him he must have in bed no less then:
one caterpillar
one dog
one monkey
one talking house toy
one Jingle dog
one quilt
one whale blanket
one turtle blanket
one dog blanket
one Thomas train
one Percy train
one Dance Star Mickey Mouse
and all the books we had to read to him to get him in bed.
Everything ends up on the floor by the time he falls asleep which could be 20 minutes later or two hours later.  He usually also messes his room about before he finally crawls into bed,covers himself up with one blanket, and falls asleep.  Lately, Mickey has not been kicked out of the bed ... lucky mouse.

Sometimes we have to just leave him in a raging, screaming, tear-falling, red-faced hysteria.  He will pull at the gate, kick at the door, hit the wall, throw books out of the room, etc.  He'll start to stop and start again.  In these circumstances, he'll end up wearing himself out and putting himself in bed.

I have to keep beach toys in the car to get him to sit in his seat.  He can only play with the beach toys if he is in his seat.  This is how I get him in his seat.  Bribery - bad mummy.

No, Max, do not hit the dog.

No, Max, do not hit your brother.

Max do not use wipes on the plasma TV.

Max, the toilet is not a sink.

Max, please don't ...

Max, NO

Max, do you need time out?

I am reminding myself as I type this that he is only 2 1/2.  I know he could be much worse.  So many random people tell me how pleasant and well-behaved my two boys are.  I am so embarrassingly grateful because I know how he can behave.  Even Charlie has tiny tantrums every once in a while.

I do not want to resort to spanking.  I WILL NOT.  Time outs are starting not to work.

I know most of it is because it is me and he is always with me.  Michael finally saw some of his son's true colors in church the other day.  See ... I'm not kidding when I tell you how he is.  

I'm just running out of ideas and patience.

April 24th, 2012

Thursday, April 19, 2012

On hiatus ...

Potty training that is.

I'm taking it Max is not ready when he starts kicking pushing screaming when I am trying to put him on the pot.  Everytime I would ask him if he needed to go or wante dto go or "let's go pee on the potty" the response was always the same.  "No, 'm fine."  Then I would physically put himon the pot which he would not be happy with but I knew he had to go because of all the grabbing and touching, but he wouldn't go for i have no idea how long he sat there?  Get off, underpants on, within a few minutes he is peeing on my carpet(did I mention we are trying to sell our house)???  Little stinker!

Me:  Max, where do you go pee?
Max:  Pee 'n potty.
Me:  Why didn't you?
Max:  [shrug]

I tried reasoning with him, but after so many underpants in a morning, I think he is just not ready.  Perhaps he simply likes to pee in his pants?

I'm not giving up.  I am scared that I am scaring him and he'll never want to do it.  I'll just let him put himself there from now on, but wrap him in his Huggies otherwise.  He still seems to want to try when I'm changing him in his room, so we'll see what happens and when it happens.

By the way, poop in underpants ... yuck.

April 19th, 2012

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The "2"

I do have another child.

I feel as though Max is providing more blog fodder at times and feel dreadful that I am not including my absolutely SWEET and huge 10 month old!

Here he is ...

Charlie Michael

1.  Even though Charlie is 10 1/2 months old, he wears 18 month clothes.  Last check up he was 3 inches shorter than Max, who is half my heighth.  I'm doomed.

2.  The Navy SEAL crawl is his method of transport around our home. 

3.  His face lights up like he has won the lottery when the Cheerios box is pulled down from the pantry.  

4.  This kid does not sleep like a normal baby.  I am lucky if he sleeps past 5am.  One nap a day.  Maybe 2 hours.  SuperBaby ... I'm telling you.  His super power is he doesn't need sleep.

5.  Mamamamamamamamama definitely came before Dadadadadadadadada ... but now he has basically forgotten it.

6.  I force feed him prunes every day to help his severe case of constipation.  The falsetto screams when trying to push a massive turd are the worst.

7.  I can see it now ... he will take out his older brother by the age of three.

8.  It is his daily goal in life to take apart every single Melissa and Doug puzzle in his brother's room for me to put back together while trying to stop him from doing it again. 

9.  Favorite teether ... my face.  OUCH.

10.  Job security for me!

I love you Charlie choo-choo.

April 12th, 2012

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"Do you have to go potty?"

It has begun.  I'm admitting it.  I'm dedicated.  I'm in it to win it.  I am trying to potty train Max.  I am going to emphasize the "trying" in this last sentence.

I did some reading(ok, on the floor of the B&N for five minutes), I looked online, I printed Elmo charts, I have Disney stickers, I have 17 pairs of underpants, one potty, a couple potty books, and patience.  Yeah, my last item is waning already.

Get it together, Mum.  You'll have to do this again in less than two years.

Atleast I can eat candy again.

I started in yesterday morning after talking up his new drawers all the day before.  He went on the potty in the morning.  WOOHOO.  This was after asking for a diaper.  Is this a sign?  Is my ever so intelligent child going to ask for a diaper signaling he wants to go?  How very accommodating of him.  Great job, Max.  Flush it away.  Wash your hands.  Say bye-bye.  Let's go get a Mickey Mouse sticker.

This didn't happen again until bathtime.

Through the day he had accidents while yanking on his peepee which felt so different in his new underpants, watching Elmo, sitting reading books with Daddy ON OUR COUCH, chasing the dog, so on, so on, so on.  The best was right before nap.  I was literally three minutes from putting him in a diaper.  He stood right in front of me as I changed my little Charlie, and pooped.  Clean up is much harder with number 2, than number 1.  He went through 6 pairs of underpants, three shorts, and 2 pants.

Today, we're just wearing underpants.  It is, ofcourse, so cold out and I cannot let him run around naked.  He went very well, first thing, but not since.  His tantrums bring on accidents, he watched the dog pee and peed himself, he peed on me while reading books.  The most aggravating part is he'll sit forever and I read to him, but then get up.  Three minutes later he is pee'ing his pants.  Grrr.

Here is my question, should I schedule him sitting on the pot or just keep asking him?  He constantly tells me, "No, 'm fine."  No, son, you're not fine, because Thomas the Tank Engine is wet.  

April 11th, 2012